Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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