...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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