TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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