Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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