that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize