I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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