The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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