We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
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There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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