I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize