How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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