I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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