I am puke
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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