so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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