I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
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