after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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