i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We just shotgunned beers for America
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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