spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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