he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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