oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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