This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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