Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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