Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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