we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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