so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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