i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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