"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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