i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
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