I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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