Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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