We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize