I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
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Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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