Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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