Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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