I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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