all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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