I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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