I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
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I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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