i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize