So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize