Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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