Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize