i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i out mim tonsoeep
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