KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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