Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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