she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize