I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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