sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize