Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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