pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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