I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize